Parents want to raise successful children. As we approach graduation when many of our young people will now be finishing a high school education we think more about what they will do with their lives and we wonder if they will be successful in life. Perhaps as we and they grow older it is rather natural for us to want them to achieve more than we have in our own lives. We want them to do better and to avoid some the of same struggles or lessons which we have faced as we grew up. Let me say, I think it is healthy and quite normal for parents to wish success for their children. But I wonder often times if we have the right motives or attitudes about what success in life looks like.
It seems the world we live in tends to attach our success to education, athletics, career, and income. I would be the first to admit these are admirable goals and even responsible achievements in life. Yet as a Christian, I am thinking more and more about just how much these goals line up with a biblical definition of success. I recently read an article by Athony Bradley in World magazine where he said that often in life parents are, “…placing unrealistic and unbiblical performance expectations on them (our children) to be basically perfect, sinless, athletic, academically successful, and accomplished in order to live a fairy-tale life of comfort and ease.” He does go on to warn Christian parents about likewise pressuring children to do “awesome things for God someday” which we often equate to being a missionary, church leader, or spiritual giant.
But then he says this, “Maybe one of the most radical things your child will do in this life is stay married and raise kids who love God.” That struck such a cord with me. As a father who is in full time Christian ministry it has been my secret hope and prayer that my children perhaps too would one day be full time Christian workers. Yet this author made me realize two things that I often teach my own people and failed to realize myself. First, you can’t live someones life for them. God has given each person their own path to follow, and so long as they are doing it to the Glory of God, what make one persons path anymore valuable or successful than someone else’s? Second, related to the first, who ever said being a full time minister was being a preacher, missionary, or other vocational church leader. In fact I often teach our people that every member who lives by the name of Christ is indeed a full time minister according to God’s word.
I guess what I got to thinking about more than anything is this. As a Christian parent, would it matter to me if any of my children earned the highest academic degree possible, played for the greatest sports team in history, achieved great success in a business or career field, became a music or Hollywood superstar, or built a great fortune, and yet did not live for Christ, would any of it matter one bit? The answer to me is absolutely not. Nothing compares to greatness of knowing Christ our Lord and living for Him. To me, remaining in Christ and living for him is the greatest thing my children could ever “accomplish” in this life.
Mr. Bradley’s words were a great heart check for me. I am so thankful, that the children God has entrusted to me and my wife, have thus far been so successful in life. I pray only that God would continue to bring them even greater success as they follow his will for their lives and continue to live according to his standards. May they trust God in good times and bad and whatever else they “accomplish” in this life may it always come second at best to being measured as “success” as they live their lives for Christ.
In Christ,
Brother Scott >
